


Used To The Darkness

by IsA2003JR1971



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angry Clint Barton, Assassin Clint Barton, Clint Barton Has Issues, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Clint Barton-centric, Dark Clint Barton, Hurt Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Pre-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Ronin Clint Barton, Threats of Violence, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Violence, Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug, and Sam Wilson also lives, but wanda maximoff lives, the others are dust tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:20:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29959482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsA2003JR1971/pseuds/IsA2003JR1971
Summary: ´Hey...hey, guys. Let's just calm down here, alright?´ she started talking. ´Let's put the weapons away and just talk instead of threatening each other, okay?´ she continued while looking at the avengers and then back at Clint.´I'm not dropping anything until birdbrain here calms the fuck down!´ Sam said´You want me to shoot you, Wilson? Cause I will!´ Clint shouted back at him while pointing his arrow in Sam's direction.OrAfter the Snap Clint takes his own path and gets into a lot of trouble
Relationships: Clint Barton & Avengers Team, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton & Wanda Maximoff
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Used To The Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> Heyy first of all thanks for reading, this is my first fic.  
> It's not Beta'd so all mistakes are my own, English is not my first language so sorry for that.  
> Its inspired by the song Used to the Darkness by Des Rocs because it made my think of ´Ronin´ Clint.  
> Clint ofcours became Ronin because of the ´snap´ and the loss of his family, however I dont like them a lot so they won´t be in this story as far as I know at this point.
> 
> I think this is going to be a multiple chapter story but I´m kind of making it up as I go so I have actually no idea where its going.  
> I will update the Tags as the story goes, cause I´m not exactly sure what is going to happen and stuff.
> 
> But enjoy reading this first chapter and please leave a comment.
> 
> xxx Isa

It was 5 years since Thanos had snapped his fingers, 5 years since 50% of the population was wiped out.

5 years since she had seen him.

Natasha thought back to the last time she had seen Clint. 

It had been a few days after ´The Snap´, the remaining Avengers were back at the compound, they still couldn't believe what had just happened and what it really meant. She looked at her teammates who were all sitting in the common room with her. On her side of the room,Steve who had just lost his best friend again. Wanda who lost the only person she ever really loved, not once but twice. On the other end of the room sat Bruce, Rhodey and Sam. Since they returned home they've barely spoken to each other. Everyone was just kind of minding their own business, while dealing with what just had happened. 

When suddenly the security alarm of the building went off.

There was a breach and it was like someone tried to break into the compound. Before they could even react to the alarm, Clint stormed into the room. He entered with such force that he almost broke down the door. Natasha wondered why he hadn't just used his login codes to enter the compound, but then again he had always been a drama queen. When she got a good look at him she saw that his eyes were red and had these really dark circles underneath them. She hadn't seen him this tired in a very long time and kind of hoped she would never see it again. But she also saw something else, something that _terrified_ her… something she hadn’t seen in his eyes since Loki and the attack on New York. It was anger and rage. Anger like she had never seen before. Anger that Clint had sworn he would never show in front of his family or friends, because it reminded him of his father. She knew right at that moment that something was very _very_ wrong.

He had his bow in his right hand and an arrow in his left, his quiver swung over his back, looking like he was going to kill each and everyone of the people in the room.

´Clint..?!´. Natasha said, surprised but also relieved, because he was still alive. 

Everyone in the room was suddenly alert and focused on the door where Clint was standing, with his arrows ready to fire. Romanoff could see that Sam and Rhodey were already feeling a bit threatened, because their hands were grabbing in the direction of their guns. She could see that Rogers was eyeing his shield in the corner of the room and then also found herself checking if her gun was still where she put it, like a second instinct. Now everyone was waiting.. waiting for Clint or someone to say something..anything that could lighting the tension in the room.

But nothing came, he was just standing there in the opening of the door that he had just kicked open. Until someone had the courage to talk again.

´Clint?´ Wanda tried again with a very soft and calming voice. ´Are you okay? What's going on?'´ 

It stayed quiet for a few seconds until the archer started to look around the room, taking in everything and everyone around him. Of Course he noticed that everyone was grabbing and looking in the direction of their weapon, but made still no movement in reaction to it. Then he finally spoke up after a few seconds of complete silence.

´What happened?´ was the first thing that came out of his mouth since he stormed in. His voice was shaking, but at the same time it was strong and you could hear the anger behind his words.

Everyone started looking at each other. Then it sunk in, Clint had no idea what had happened. He wasn't there, they hadn't called or texted him. After ´The Snap´ they'd been so busy with their own grief and thoughts that no one thought to inform Clint. They kept staring at each other, like they were having a mental conversation on who was going to tell Barton what was going on. But apparently it was taking too long because the next thing they knew Clint was shouting something from across the room.

´Excuse me, HEY! Is someone going to tell me what the fuck just happend or not?!´ he raised his voice, his breathing became quicker and now everyone in the room could feel the anger and rage coming off of him. Clint had always been such a positive guy, that this comment left the avengers frozen and a bit shocked. 

No one answered him. 

The next thing happened so quick no one really exactly knew what happened. Clint loaded his arrow into the bow and pointed it at no one specific but it was enough to make the entire room feel threatened. Sam and Rhodey immediately grabbed their guns and pointed them at Clint. Steve ran to the corner of the room and grabbed his red, white and blue shield. Wanda was desperately looking around the room, she didn't know what to do. She didn't want Clint to shoot her friends but she also definitely did not want anyone to hurt Clint, who helped her through a lot of issues in the past few years. The already tense room became even more tense within just a few seconds. Natasha, who had also grabbed her gun, tried to lower the tension, because if this was going to continue it might not end well. 

´Hey...hey, guys. Let's just calm down here, alright?´ she started talking. ´Let's put the weapons away and just talk instead of threatening each other, okay?´ she continued while looking at the avengers and then back at Clint.

´I'm not dropping anything until birdbrain here calms the fuck down!´ Sam said

´You want me to shoot you, Wilson? Cause I will!´ Clint shouted back at him while pointing his arrow in Sam's direction.

Natasha knew Clint would never hurt his friends but with the state he was in now, she didn't know what he could do. She thought back to ´The airport battle´ a few years back and how he told her after that he was indeed pulling his punches because he didn't want to hurt his friends no matter what side they were on. Ofcourse he was mad for ending up in the raft, but as far as she knows he got over that after a few weeks. She snapped back into reality when she heard Wanda trying to break the tension between Sam and Clint.

´Clint..,Sam.., why don't we just take a deep breath here and calm down. I know we're all upset but we are each others not enemies.´ she said calmly trying not to upset them even more.

´I'M NOT GONNA CALM DOWN WHEN MY WHOLE FAMILY JUST DIED IN FRONT OF ME AND I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHY OR HOW!!´ he shouted through the room.

The whole room fell silent, no one knew what to say to that. Clint looked defeated as he lowered his bow and tears started to fill his eyes. The tension lessend and the rest of the avengers put their guns away too. 

´Oh, Clint..´, Natasha said with a sympathetic voice. ´I'm so sorry´

´Don't, just don't.´ He said with a strong voice.

Everyone was still looking at Clint, but with a different feeling. They were feeling sorry for him and Clint could feel it. If there's anything Clint hates it's when people feel sorry for him. He wiped his eyes dry and steadied his hands on his bow, immediately alarming Steve and Rhodey, who tensed up. Then he looked at Wanda. She looked scared, was she scared of him? He always felt like she looked up to him and that he had to live up to this image of a older, wiser brother. That she could always lean on him if she needed to. It was at this moment that he realized he failed at that and had now disappointed her. He felt like he had lost her too. 

He couldn't take all their sorry looks anymore and decided to leave, he would deal with this himself if nobody wanted to help him. He grabbed himself together and turned around leaving abruptly without saying anything.

´Wait! Clint!´ Natasha shouted after him. 

She ran after him and surprisingly Steve followed behind her.

Clint turned around pointing his bow at both Natasha and Steve, making them back off a bit.

´Careful where you point that thing, Barton´ Steve said, sounding slightly threatening. It was the first thing he had said since Clint stormed in. 

Clint narrowed his eyes but made no comment at that, instead he just tightened his grip on his bow. Natasha tried to step closer to Clint, but Steve held her back. Ofcours she was not having that and got loose from his grip, she slowly stepped towards her partner to try and calm him down.

´Clint, it's okay, I know you´re going through a lot right now, but I can help you. _We_ can help you, if you let us.´

She got no reaction, he just stood there as a tear flowed down his cheek. She could see him fighting to hold them back. Then he finally said something. 

´Don't follow me, I don't want to hurt you´he sounded broken and that broke Natasha's heart.

That was the last thing he said to her before he loosened his arrow as a warning and ran out of the building. The arrow went into the wall just missing Steve's head, who flinched when the arrow flew past him. She made the move to run after him but Steve stopped her. She wanted to help her partner so badly, but the Captain gave her a look saying ´Don't. Let him go. He needs some time.´ And Natasha knew he needed some time, but she also knew that he needed her to be there for him. However against her better judgement she decided to let him go, thinking that he would return when he was ready.

They were now 5 years later and she hadn't seen him since.

What she didn't know was that wherever Clint was at that moment, he was trying everything to get back to her.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment to let me know what you think.  
> I dont know when the next chapter will be up but im going to try to write one every week.


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